


Ice Cream Is Bad

by rosy_eyes



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comic, Comics, Funny, Guardians of the Galaxy - Freeform, Humor, and crap, blow jobs jk not really, cursing, dammit i just did this as a joke, i cant write porn, this is my first fic how do i use this, uh, what am i doing im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2127402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosy_eyes/pseuds/rosy_eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rocket Raccoon gets done dead by poisonous ice cream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ice Cream Is Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Literally I was bored and my friend told me to write a gotg fanfic so I did.

star lord went up 2 gamoraroara n said ‘hi bb”

gamora was like “h i”

“then that big muscle-y alien guy was like “?”

the raccoon called them a bunch of wankers

bc u know hes like that

then baby groot said ‘’im groot asshats”

star lord was like what the fuck dude ur supposed 2 be dancing 2 jackson 5 rn not calling us asshats”

“o, k”

“lets go on an adventure lets just go on a fuking adventure guys god im so bored”

“k” said the alien guy that im literally 2 lazy 2 look up his damn name

the starship went whirly whirly and bOOM into space. they went on a planet made completely out of ICE CREAM HOLY FUCK

“OH MY FKKOING GOD” SCreamed the hot assassin lady

“LETS JUST FUCKING EAT ALL THIS SHIT COME ON” rocket said vry loudly

rocket the raccooon jumped into an icream chookies n creame and begins 2 ate it

but star lord lost his shit “HOLD HTE FUCK UP BRO THATS POISON”

“o”

then rocket got dead

“FUCK”

“im groot ya dumb cutns” groot said as he blazed it up

they mourned n then gamora sayed “hey i kno this place my sister karen gillan comes here n eats 2 gain power”

“o rlly” star lord saind

“mhm she goes 2 q temple where theres a stone that can revive talking raccoons”

“lets fucking get 2 it then”

*they walked*

“temple” gamora said, pointing up

The first thing that Peter noticed about the temple was the intricate designs engraved into the stone door. The drawings were of aliens of different species dancing and singing. The detail was amazing. One could see the creases in a Kree woman’s skin as she turned her body to spin. The water in what looked like a lake of some sort (though, it was yellow) showed the ripples that were being caused by a strange, monkey-like creature jumping into it. The whole entire team admired the work. It felt nostalgic just by looking at it. It almost made the rest of the exterior of the temple, which was covered in skeletons and blood, seem pleasant.

rocket blew up the door with his rocket gun thing

“wow thnx” buff alien (im calling him that frm now on)said .

“come on vamanos” rocket said

“wait arent u supposed 3 be dead”

“shit i forgot ill go back 2 dead”

“its good bro”

they entrered. they saw nebula standing there rlly pissed.

“hello doctor” she said

“?’

“gamora ur a trator u fuckin killed our dad”

*gamora gives her annoyed look* “dude srsly he killed innocent creatures and hes a fucking dickhead”

“so what i have 2 kill u now”

nebula grABBed peters headphones and mix tape

“WHAT THWE FUCKING FUIC” he screamed

peter tackled her 2 thhhe ground 

“im groot” says groot

peter punched her a lot of times and took his mix tape back.

“this isnt the end1” amelia pond scowled and ran away into her ship 

buff alien ran up 2 peter “I GOT THE STONE”

“k”

***********************************************

“i hope this werks”

groot grabbed the stone, shouted “GBABY RGIMME OONE OMORE TCHANCE” and groot threw the stone @ the raccoon

rocket sat up and shouted “2 SHOW U THAT I LOVE YOU”

buff alien laughed and then brooded over his dead wife and daughter

starlord laughed anf turned 2 gamora “so that worked out rlly well”

“oh hell ya” said gamora

“so” peter smiled seductiveiely “u wanna have our tongues battle 4 dominance”

gamora widened her eyes and shook her head “im so sorry chris but i cant”

“wait whos chris and why wont u kiss me im hot now”

“ya i kno but…” gamora turned away w/tears in her orbs! “im gay for black widow”!

“huh”

TO BE CONTINUED (PROBABLY WHEN I’M BORED AGAIN)


End file.
